subgirlygirl

Anonymous asked:

I think I'm experiencing subdrop? Daddy had to leave right after a really intense scene :( and now I feel really sad and awful :'(

subgirlygirl answered:

Ack. I’m sorry you’re going through this :-(

Subdrop (and Domdrop/Topdrop) is very real and fucking sucks. Everyone is different of course, but I think the two most important things are:

° Physical comfort; getting into or being put into a confortable position; a blanket, if needed; tending to the effects of physical play (e.g., or warm/cold washcloth to clean/soothe, etc.); a drink of water or juice, the latter especially if you’re diabetic, haven’t eaten in more than 4 hours, are prone to low blood sugar, or are exhibiting signs of shock (e.g., pale skin, feeling uncharacteristically cold and/or fatigued).

° Him (or her) being there; not simply in the same room, mindlessly patting your hip or stroking your arm, but actually engaged and invested in your emotional state. Reassurance and tenderness are paramount. Uncertainty runs rampant through the dropping mind, and any Dominant worth his official Dom card will make efforts to let you know how much you’re appreciated. Now is not a time for heady conversation or ambiguity. Keep it sweet and simple. Don’t rush. Be there.

For the record, Doms need post-shenanigan loving, too! But caring for the needs of the submissive comes first - it just does. In a perfect and lovely world, both partner’s emotional needs are met in those moments together. But until that glorious happening, take care of the one who took the brunt of your passions, por favor.

(And if you think this is silly, dramatic, or exaggerated, then pretty please give your toys to the nearest responsible participant and turn in your bdsm passport, thanks.)

Again, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your partner was irresponsible in playing this way if he knew he was unable to stay. I hope you address it with him, and I hope it doesn’t happen again.

submissivefeminist
sadisticgames:

How much do you trust your partner?
Does this image make you nervous? 
This is not exclusive to D/s relationships, but trust is fundamental for many reasons. 
you are trusting that your partner will respect your limits. 
you are trusting that your partner will stop when you safe word. 
you are trusting that your partner knows what they are doing. 
you are trusting that your partner is not going to leave you. 
you are trusting that your partner understands you. 
That is a lot of trust, and it must be earned. 
If that trust is broken, it can be irreparable. 
Not only for that specific partner, 
but anyone they try to play with from that point on. 
If you cannot uphold that trust, stop. 
If you cannot trust your partner. stop. 

sadisticgames:

How much do you trust your partner?

Does this image make you nervous? 

This is not exclusive to D/s relationships, but trust is fundamental for many reasons. 

you are trusting that your partner will respect your limits. 

you are trusting that your partner will stop when you safe word. 

you are trusting that your partner knows what they are doing. 

you are trusting that your partner is not going to leave you. 

you are trusting that your partner understands you. 

That is a lot of trust, and it must be earned. 

If that trust is broken, it can be irreparable. 

Not only for that specific partner, 

but anyone they try to play with from that point on. 

If you cannot uphold that trust, stop. 

If you cannot trust your partner. stop.